1. |
Oro
03:42
|
|||
burning the midnight oil
the rain was washing down across our windshield
putting god himself on his heels
believing in forever
not just the word, but all our favorite fictions
our bodily addictions
our breath tangled as our words escape
before our mouths can hold them to a whisper
our hearts dancing out of time, and out of place
as the sky begins to fade into night
[c]
so stay golden like the town that you call home
i know you'll leave my heart behind you
i know our love was always lied to
eyes closed
our lips were moving faster every second
the beauty and the breathless
and who am i to say?
the love we lose may never leave us, never fade
the petrichor the glory days
[c]
and don't wait for anyone to catch up now
you know the best is not behind you
and golden hearts will always find you
golden like the town that you call home
i know you'll leave my heart behind you
i know you don't need me like i need-
|
||||
2. |
A Letter to Ilene
02:31
|
|||
you're the sleeves i wear in august to hide my bad intentions
the cherry blossom in the morning, the name i fail to mention
were you ever meant to stay? will you remember what the day was
when you told me that you loved me on the way to tempe?
i'm not the same
we're a panic! on the dance floor, silver linings trick play
so very close to something perfect, just a word or two away
like "i miss you" like "i love you" like "i don't wanna be without you"
like "i'm so sick and fucking tired of always writing these songs about you"
i'm not the same
i'm a lifetime babyface but i'm about to turn heel
a sudden chair shot to theboyyoulove-d, the song you wanna hear
because i miss you, because i love you, because i don't wanna be without you
but if you're the rollins to my ambrose, then i'll hate you if i have to
I'M NOT THE SAAAaaaaAAAAaaaAAAME
you're the sleeves i wear in august to hide my bad intentions
the cherry blossom in the afternoon; you're gone with the wind
don't forget me when you're famous, when all your friends still think i'm nameless
i'm still a box in case you need, you're still the only one for me
|
||||
3. |
Lovely
04:43
|
|||
i'm having daydreams about
your black cardigan
spilling across my bedroom floor
like a mess
i never wanna clean up or see
the rest of my room anymore
and i hope
this invitation finds you wel-
-come to the things i most adore
like your everything
oh god i think i'm in love
and leaving my hope at the door
all my friends say
i'm in too deep
in over my head
losing sleep
what's one more cliche?
i need you in my bed
[c]
but i know, i know
you're far too beautiful to fall for this
and i know, i know
i'm way too miserable to call you this, but
you're all kinds of lovely to me
you're all kinds of lovely to me
you're the autumn leaves
and until now i've only ever known them green
if i could i'd dive right into you
oh, if i could dive right into you
[c]
(GO!)
you're radiant baby
and don't ever feel alone
the current keeps changing
but i'd swim all day
just to reach somewhere i could call home
retrace all the footsteps
that led us to think
we'd lost our way
it felt like a war
just to find myself next to you
begging for you to say:
"oh, boy just come on over"
and i'll say:
"oh, girl i thought you'd never"
|
||||
4. |
19:26
05:27
|
|||
there's something vaguely masochistic about
the receipts i keep in this notebook
the backs of which are stained
by words that wish i'd been less hopeful, like:
"the bottles love me more than you do"
i've been treading the line
between suicide and "everything will be alright"
but it's not working
and if i could just forget
my loneliness and your lack of it then i
might just believe that this was worth it
and i promised i would never mix
these desperate thoughts
with the wishbone on my wrist
if a man is only as good as his word is
then i'm scared my promise might break
the way that i did
and i promised i would never mix
the poison coursing through my veins
with a mind intent on spilling it
and i promised i would never quit
but it's not getting any easier
[c]
the bottles love me more than you do
i'm a heart attack and a half most nights
but even when i'm not, i know that
the bottles loves me more than you do
just going through the motions again
but i hope to god you understand
and i refuse to kill the daylight left in me
if that could ever make a difference
was i only worth anything until
i stopped meaning shit to you?
as if i ever did to begin with
i'm not making any kind of difference
the voices keep me up but they don't talk about
the coming sun or how i live to drive these demons out
the devil in my head's getting louder every second
i won't believe him but i can't help but to listen, cause:
[c]
but you don't
you don't know...
but i don't blame you
what if my star doesn't shine bright enough?
will it let the darkness take me?
cause the friends i found in these bottles are gone
and my grip on them is shaky
what if my promise breaks and my aching hands
can't hold off the devil anymore?
will he let the poison run its course?
will i even be worth remembering?
this is not a sad story
but it is about sadness
cause for months i've been addicted to
the joyless and the tragic
there are empties that never fill
and brokens that only half-fix
but i'd rather learn from my stitches
than pretend they never happened
than pretend you never happened
|
||||
5. |
home (n.)
02:03
|
|||
all my friends are moving to bigger and better things
while i can't get up off the couch or out of bed
or out of this messy apartment
i kept my grades up, i had a good time
i feel lonely, oh i feel alright
but i'm still stuck here
oh, i feel stuck here
it's a long drive home
when you don't know where to go
burning bridges built an island
i'm all washed up under heavy eyelids
am i the jetsam overboard?
a ship that never leaves the shore?
and this is how i get sometimes
forgetting what is real
the tunnel vision around my eyes
and forever behind the wheel
and it's a long drive home
when you don't know where to go
|
||||
6. |
Merigold
03:20
|
|||
[c]
your eyes force me to hyperbolize
this space that lies
between your hands and mine
my hair's a mess but it's your favorite
thing about me, except the way i make you laugh
i always stress that i'm not worth it
even in your sleep, i know it makes you sad
you think my favorite color's blue
but you wore purple the day i fell in love with you
don't go getting any ideas about us, oh no
don't go, don't go cause
[c]
i don't mind knowing that we're losing time
but please stay
long enough to say goodbye
i braced for heavy days and nights without a common voice
thoughts of you, your arms around another boy
lost in all the silence that we couldn't fill
and every harmless lie we never thought to tell
we fell in love the way we felt the seasons change:
a different air at first, the end so far away
we breathed each other in until it felt okay
the summer in your bones, the winter in my veins
i prayed for better days and god i know they're on their way
"i love you so" and all the words i meant to say
i sat alone and thought of what you said to me
"the love we want is not always the love we need"
|
||||
7. |
||||
i'll miss long drives and pictures of sunsets
summer nights, our youth in excess
promises made over dinner tend to fade
by evening's end
parking lots kept all our secrets
of hate, love, and learning to mean it
thank god for in-n-out
or god knows where we'd be now
(1,2)
we're gathered here today
to toast the ups and downs
and losing sight of everything
we didn't know kept us around
(sick guitar solo)
they say "moving on is hard
but holding on is harder"
we'll chase years of good times
with bittersweet goodbyes
i'm grateful for the time i spent
picking up the pieces of my broken head
i'm grateful for the way you stood by me
i'm grateful for the best of friends
i know i barely show it, it's so hard to fit in
afraid i'll miss the way that things have always been
and if anyone asks where home is
i'll say "my backyard in the summer"
and if anyone asks where home is
i'll say "BEAR DOWN motherfucker"
i'll miss you, i'll miss you but i won't
you'll always be the company i keep close
|
||||
8. |
Royal Love
03:53
|
|||
oh it's hell, hell, hell -
the way you keep me around
i swear it's holding you down
i swear you're better without me
i've been up all day
coming up with the words
the perfect line you deserve
like penning diamonds and pearls, girl
oh it's walk the moon
on a tuesday afternoon
and it's the feeling i get
with your breath between my name
[c]
pieces of you
slipping into my mind
oh it's more than another last time
it's the clatter of thunder outside
light from the moon
catching up with your eyes
you were always the favorite b-side
to my one track mind
and it's the way i know
you'll always pick up the phone
and i could write to you
knowing you won't pretend
to miss all these letters
that i'll never send
and i could call you up
knowing you won't be there
confessionals into your voice mail
that you'll never hear, nor should you ever
now they're stuck with me
moments i can't replace
knowing what's here today
is saving 'goodbye' for another time
but it'll be just fine
the pressure's on me this time
i always want sunrise
without the sunset
[c]
and it's the way i knew
you'd always pick up the phone
this is goodbye, for once
i know that it's overdue
you know that it's like me to hold onto nothing
you know that it's like me to run away
this is goodbye, for good
i know that i've outgrown you
i hope you remember the flowers in summer
i hope you remember before the rain
and it's the way i knew
you'd always pick up the phone
|
||||
9. |
The Roaring Twenties
04:10
|
|||
i woke up now
across bitter disillusion
self-medicated solutions
my own blood was thinning out
this can't work out, this can't work out
and i'll miss things
like believing in the future
wishing time would pass us sooner
silver linings in the clouds
this can't work out, this can't work out
you can pull the door open
but you can't get me to pull through
you can tell me that you love me
but i'll always try to get you not to
[c]
no one ever warned me
the twenties had such sharp teeth
and a taste for my anxiety
college never taught me
depression sank an economy
well then, what would it do it me?
i'm running out of band-aids
for temporary heartache
and permanent solutions
to problems that won't go away
they won't go away
they won't go away
[c]
19 and wide-eyed
(never thought that i'd be)
eaten alive
(eaten alive)
but avery says that i'll be just fine
and chris says i'll be just fine
and hannah says i'll be just-
and jess says i'll be just-
my friends say i'll be just fine
|
Streaming and Download help
If you like Jed Baronia, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp